Taryn's Design Diary

June 16 of this year is the Duanwu Festival, a traditional Chinese holiday that falls on the fifth day of the fifth month of the lunar calendar. I, of course, did not know this. I got the memo, so to speak, from the manufacturer of my prospective Taryn Zhang purse hooks. They sent me a gift of several lovely ornaments in honor of the holiday, like the above red one.

Oh but wait…you’re curious about the purse hooks.

Purse Hooks: Purse hooks are really popular in Taiwan right now, and slowly gaining momentum here in the States. Last year a friend from Taiwan visited the Bay Area and she introduced me to them. It was love at first sight. I noted to myself that one day Taryn Zhang would make purse hooks.

The ones I want to manufacture are in the shape of a medallion. The hooks hang off the edge of tables and keep your prized handbags off dirty restaurant floors. I am obsessed with these things.  

So anyway, back to the fragrant pouches. This Taiwanese company sent me xiangbao, or fragrant pouches for the Duanwu Festival. They came in the mail today. It’s a tradition to send xiangbao, like sending Christmas cards to friends and family, or coloring eggs on Easter.

Folks used to believe that these pouches expelled wickedness. Worn around the necks of children, the fragrant pouches could ward off evil and disease. Emperors and empresses would carry these things with them at all times. It’s not entirely clear to me how or why the xiangbao came to be associated with the Duanwu Festival, but it did, and they’re given out on this day.

They’re called fragrant pouches because they are very…fragrant. The smell of them attracted the resident kitty, and he wouldn’t get out of the way when I tried photographing the pouches, so there he is in the background. He really likes the fragrant pouches. Long after I put the camera away, he was still playing with the ornaments and swatting at them with his paws.

Stock photograph of a sample purse hook

Now, purse hooks. If and when I proceed with offering Taryn Zhang purse hooks, I will be proud to say that they are made in Taiwan. Taiwan is my country of origin, and a place I hold in highest regard.

And of course I will be going with the manufacturer who sends me fragrant pouches by airmail, even though we still haven’t signed on the dotted line. That is what we call good faith dealings. =) 

I realize my blogging has been haphazard lately. Vacation photos, afternoon tea, fragrant pouches…and here we thought this was a purse blog!

… Asian American style, that is! Li Shan tea from Taiwan (the “King of Teas,” some say) served with strawberry jam filled almond shortbread cookies, Chinese honey almond squares, and these dessert dumplings I made up when I was trying to figure out what to do with leftover dough.

Manufacturing for the alpha collection is out of my hands for now, which means this weekend I was very idle, so I surprised Hubby with sweets. I sketched for several hours, got nowhere with that, and decided I wanted to have afternoon tea.

Two yolks, a stick of butter, a small teacup of sugar, honey, and a pinch of salt with flour slowly mixed into the batter until a relatively firm dough is formed; roll balls of the dough in finely chopped almonds, and fill with your favorite farmer’s market fruit preserves. Hubby prefers strawberry, so that’s what I used. Bake at 350 degrees F for 12 to 15 minutes and you’ve got the most delicious jam-filled shortbread cookies ever.

The almonds are home-grown on my aunt’s farm. She also keeps bees, and the honey I use is from her bees.

There was excess dough, so I threw in the rest of the almonds, rolled it out, cut a square, and then cut that square into even smaller squares, brushed with a wash of egg whites and honey, sprinkled on sugar, and baked at 400 degrees F until golden brown and crispy. The egg white wash and sugar gives the squares a glossy almost candy-like coating. Yum.

After I cut out the square to cut into little squares, I still had that tiny ball of leftover dough, so I rolled it out into two dumpling wrappers, filled with a spoonful of sugar (which will melt into a gooey center after baking), and pinched the dessert dumplings shut with the rest of the egg white wash.

Hubby and I spent a lazy afternoon filling up on calories, the best green tea ever, and conversation. We are both individuals with strong sociopolitical opinions, often divergent opinions, and so we have a lot to talk about. Lately it’s been Arizona Senate Bill 1079 and the BP oil spill. I know…not exactly the lightest discussion to accompany afternoon tea, but that’s how we roll.

I haven’t entirely thought through why I’m posting photos of cookies, probably because I’ve been reading too many food blogs and I feel inspired.

Just so this post is somewhat related to Taryn Zhang, I conclude with a photo of swatch test pieces currently sitting on my desk:

And here is where I do all my design work:

Many of our friends and colleagues utilized the 3-day weekend to network, going to events throughout the city, but Hubby and I aren’t networkers of any sort to speak of. We spend our leisure time with each other (or I spend it purse designing and he spends it playing video games and watching ESPN).

For Memorial Day weekend, Hubby planned us a road trip to Big Sur. He knows how stressful and hectic the everday work life can be for me, so every chance we get, he’ll whisk me away on a mini vacation to help me unwind.

Says the cat to me, "Don't bring these, you moron. What part of 'vacation' don't you get?"

The entire preceding day, I went grocery shopping and prepared our picnic food, a fusion of East and West, of his childhood favorites and mine. A Chinese road trip includes egg and nori sandwiches and tea eggs, and Hubby had already put in a special request for tea eggs (which takes the whole day and one night to make). For me growing up here, a road trip wasn’t complete without potato salad and baked sweets, like cookie brownie bars. So I prepared all of the above, plus a grilled veggie and shrimp pasta, steamed corn on the cob, and a bunch of little teatime finger sandwiches. Hubby is currently on a diet, so we skipped the soda and high-fructose-corn-syrupy fruit drinks for homemade iced tea, one pitcher of honey roasted red, and one of green matcha.

Grilled squash, zucchini, shrimp, and grape tomato pasta salad; James isn't the biggest fan of American/Western cuisine, so I always need to force-feed him for him to try it. Once he tried the pasta though, he inhaled it. =D Yay for trying new things. He's learning to love our comfort foods!

Hubby planned the whole trip. Love is when Hubby comes across some little article about Big Sur and automatically thinks, “I want to take my wife there, she’d really like it,” and then does.

That sign just about sums up the drive. Poor Hubby didn't get much of a chance to enjoy the scenic landscape; he was concentrated on keeping us alive! To the left, a steep cliff with signs that kept warning "falling rocks" and to the right, a plunging drop and then the Pacific Ocean. Ranked one of the most dangerous highways in America. (The photograph above was taken at one of the rare spots that actually went inland.)

I don’t know the origin of the following talltale-personality-indicator, but I once heard that people who prefer the mountains are introverted, conservative, possess a strong work ethic, are reliable and trustworthy, and are governed by rationalism, while people who prefer the ocean are extroverted, free-spirited, value their freedom, are leaders, movers and shakers. Sounds kind of like a person can’t be both, but after visiting Big Sur, I am! I love both mountain and ocean!

Sea lions!

Not a zoo, folks. Above are sea lions in their natural habitat. The fella immediately above has a toy ball! How cute!!

I was both amazed and disturbed at how close the squirrels let me get to them. I fed them some of the corn we brought. They reluctantly accepted the corn, disappointed that I didn’t have potato chips or cookie crumbs, which is what we saw the other tourists feed them! No wonder these squirrels are obese! Poor things! That was why I was disturbed–humans feeding wild squirrels processed people food, which is why they’re not afraid to approach us…they want more chips and cookies!

We also visited Hearst Castle. The typewriter reminded me of a law professor once recounting to me how they used to take the bar exam on typewriters (rather than laptops). Law students would lug to the center these giant cases and set these things up. I just can’t imagine!

Also above is an awesome desktop set-up. I took the photograph and noted to myself that one day when I acquire the privilege of a hoity toity home office, I would arrange it like above. At present, my home office is a mess, stacks of paperwork, case files, reams of fabric and swatch books, and a laptop covered in cat hair, because the resident cat thinks my laptop is a bed.

“Why are you taking a picture of the wall?” asked Hubby. Because I found it so inspirational! These tiles will inspire a Taryn Zhang handbag or custom print for the interior lining, just you wait.

The long drive home...

Hubby planned one final surprise…

We parked at a gorgeous vista point and watched the sun set together. I thought it was a great fluke, but apparently he planned it all along…he timed the trip accordingly so that on the drive home, we’d stop at a particular spot just in time to enjoy what you see above.

Oh– and this always happens to me. I wear a super-cute shirt, but then I don’t take a single picture of me wearing the super-cute shirt. It’s only when it gets drafty, I put on a bleh-blah-blah sweater or hoodie, and oh– now everybody wants to take photos.

Final random pic: Self-taken photo with the camera phone on the morning of our trip. Hubby’s still asleep. I’m a girly-girl, so I have to wake up early to put on my face. This is taken right after makeup application.

I look the best in low-res digital images taken in the dark. Lighting, or lack thereof, is everything.

In the last 15 years of makeup purchases, I have never bought red lipstick. (I may have bought red nail polish once as a tween, back when you could get a bottle for a dollar if you looked hard enough after Christmas, but I probably painted no more than 2 nails before I said “yowsers that’s bright” and quickly wiped it off.) Because you see, for most of my life, I have been a pink femme. 

Pink femmes are the women who were the girls who used the crayon to color a border within the border first, so when they went back to fill in the rest of the space, they’d stay within the lines. Pink femmes neatly colored the grass green, the sky blue, and did what they could to ensure that their picture would be the one that Teacher hung up at the front of the room. Pink femmes seek approval. Pink femmes do “what’s right.”

Red femmes are alphas. Everybody else either sing their praises and admire them for being gutsy, or we denigrate them because we’re secretly jealous that they get to achieve what we’ve always wanted to acheive. Red femmes are bold, striking; they’re risk takers. They’re confidence personified. 

I want to be a red femme. I want to put on a brilliant red lipstick, walk out my front door, and not get all sheepish wondering if maybe people think I look like a clown.

For quite some time now, I’ve been vowing to buy red. And while that should be a relatively simple task, I literally physically could not get myself to do it. I don’t even have an explanation why not. I would walk into the drugstore, browse the rows and columns of lip colors prepping myself for buying a red, and then leave the store with a color that’s yet another pink, or nude, or plum, or even a toffee brown. I’ve purchased lipsticks in every hue but red. (Somebody should psychoanalyze this.)

Thus I was on a mission. Soon enough it wasn’t about the red lipstick anymore. It was about my life, and the way I choose to live my life. Yeah, I’m melodramatic like that. 

Today I did it. My first tube of red lipstick. I cannot believe it took me so long to do this. In fact, it’s kind of pathetic, the kind of pathetic that shouldn’t be posted on the world wide web for everyone to read. Anyway. 

I made a beeline for the makeup section. Ooh…I saw a pretty pearlescent nude. No! Red, red, red, I kept telling myself. Don’t leave here without a red. Revlon was on sale that day, buy one get one free, and that factor significantly informed by choice. I could get my pretty pearlescent nude and the red!

And there it is. My first tube of red liptick.

When I bought this brand and color, I knew nothing about it. Most people look up ratings and reviews before they buy. For some reason I look them up after.

I got home and tried to pull up as much as I could from search engines on the precise brand and color lipstick I just bought.

That was when I found this, to my great delight:

Ref: elaineturner.com/revlon-wine-with-everything-lipstick

Gasp! Elaine Turner likes Revlon “Wine With Everything” too! A handbags and accessories designer I look up to and whose designs I’m always impressed with– she uses the same shade lipcolor!

(This, by the way, is exactly why corporations will spend millions on celebrity endorsements. No matter how educated we become or how free-thinking we regard ourselves to be, in a moment of insecurity and weakness, we fall prey to the “well if it’s good enough for Superstar Jane Doe, it’s good enough for me” mentality.)

Still, I took it as a sign from above, especially since the whole pink femme red femme thing stemmed from feelings of insecurity I was having about Taryn Zhang. I was letting other people’s doubts get to me. 

See, lately people whose opinions matter to me called Taryn Zhang my “pet project.” It’s not a “pet project.” It’s my aspiration. People whose support I desperately need told me that I’m dreaming too big. This time, I’m in way over my head. I need to ”consider the opportunity cost” here. They reminded me, because, you know, I wasn’t fully aware of it before, thank you very much, that I’m not professionally trained to do this; I’m neither schooled to be a designer nor schooled to be a businesswoman; heck, I’ve never even been all that well-dressed or fashionable. What makes me think I can be a fashion designer? Plus, I have no pulse for marketing or PR. I don’t have the business acumen to turn a profit. I have never been good at sales. Ever. Not even in elementary school Christmas wrapping paper and candy fundraisers. I probably couldn’t sell heat to eskimos if I tried. And above all, I’m not extraordinary. How will I ever stand out in such a diluted industry without being extraordinary?

Rest assured that I have thoughtfully considered all these points before anybody had to express them to me. What kept me going before? Some amazing cocktail of hope, zeal, excess energy, and naivete. When all four began to wane a bit from encountering difficulty after difficulty, instead of cheering me on, instead of yelling at me to dig deeper, I received, “hmm, maybe you should just quit while you’re ahead.”

That’s why I needed to get the red lipstick. Some irrational silly superstitious part of me thought that maybe it could be like a talisman. I could have the confidence and audacity of dragon ladies if I wore the same color lipstick as dragon ladies… okay, I suppose when I type out that sentence I do come to terms with how fallacious the argument is. Eh, well. We can’t all be fully sane.

The phone camera doesn't do the lipstick any justice. It's actually very red.

So yeah. Red lipstick. To compel myself to be fearless. To stop putting other people’s happiness before my own. And to go for it, full speed ahead. It’s just icing on the cake that Elaine Turner, a phenomenal and well-established handbags and accessores designer, whose success I’d love to emulate, also wears this same color red.

Please note that the following handbags represent first prototypes and serious blunders. This blog documents our trials and errors and tracks our progress from inexperienced start-up to launching the Taryn Zhang brand. Please bear that in mind as you look through these photos and illustrations.

The Catalyst was intended to be an attache that I could take with me to work, a briefcase-like handbag that fit my casefiles in one half or a laptop computer, and in the other half, a purse compartment for all my daily girly things. The back zip pocket could house my phone, keys, and wallet for easy access. It would be a bold high-powered brief that I could take with me to court. Here is my original sketch for the Catalyst attache:

And here is the actual prototype, version 1.0 (do brace yourself for this):

Sure, the manufacturer got the silhouette right (as in, it’s a quadrilateral, like in the illustration; yes, that’s how low our standards are now), but wrong fabric and wrong red. The material was supposed to be stiff, polished, and glossy, you know, briefcase-like. That material in the prototype is not briefcase-like at all.

As for color,  I wanted a deeper, darker sangria red. This red they used is, well, hate to say it, but it’s China red. Really not what I had in mind…

The Catalyst was also supposed to come with a detachable, adjustable shoulder strap. Note where the hook for the straps are located on the bag (see right photo above). Yeah. Way at the bottom. Think basic physics here. When you attach the shoulder strap, the entire bag flips upside down. And everybody thought we Asians were good at math and science! Bah, I say. I don’t think you need any experience at all in design or the handbag manfuacturing industry to know that hooks at the bottom of the bag might be a bad idea. I even went back to my illustrations to make sure it wasn’t me. Nope, it wasn’t. I had instructed the hooks to be at the top third. The manufacturer must have decided that by “top third” I really meant bottom third.

Again, the hideous interior lining. At least it’s actually padded. The only good thing out of this is the bag can indeed fit my casefiles and my laptop. I appreciate how I can use one half of the bag for work stuff and the other half for my everyday-essential-girly stuff.

Can I take this bag with me to court? Haha. No. I can take it with me to the office when no one is looking. I am currently using this bag 100% for its functionality. If anybody even quasi-important ever walked into my office, the first thing I’d do is kick this bag under my desk and hide it. I know, I’m awful.

Seriously my biggest gripe with how the first round of prototypes came out is that they completely missed the mark on my point of view. These bags are supposed to be for business executives. Alpha women. Women who might otherwise be carrying manly suitcases or else something really plain and boring to conform to their corporate culture. I got instead a batch of very casual handbags.

And this prototype for the Catalyst in particular makes no sense. It plays mind games with you. It’s a brief, but not really. It’s casual, but also not really. It’s like–you know what it’s like?–a power suit made out of denim. That’s exactly what it’s like.

… I spoke too soon. Right after I typed the foregoing, I ran an image search for “denim suit” and it’s apparently quite popular, and very “couture.” Yowsers.

photo credit: denimology.com

Shows you what I know about fashion. =X

Well. And there you have it. Go out there in a denim power suit and carry the Catalyst version 1.0. It’s going to be all the rage next season, swear.